In my high school years, I lost 4 classmates to suicide, one of which was a close family friend. As a result, I learned as much as I could about the signs of suicide and how to help others, as well as myself, to battle the lies of suicide. The lies that our brains tell us – that we’re alone, we’re a burden, I’ll never recover from this pain… the list goes on. I used these skills to educate my children, to help them help themselves and others. And I was able to help Josh when he reached out during his freshman year at college. I found him a counselor he liked and we continued to talk as he worked through his issues.

Fast forward almost two years and he was showing no signs of suicidal tendencies. Zero. I didn’t even know he needed help. He told his father and me, just weeks before his death, that he was happy and had no regrets. He appreciated everything we did to give him a great childhood. It was one of those days where I felt life just couldn’t get any better. All of my kids were happy. My husband and I were beyond happy. I can’t help but wonder if that, in itself, was a flag I missed because I was blinded by my own happiness.

I am a daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, wife, and mother – stepmother, adoptive mother, and biological mother… one who will feel the loss of a child for the rest of my life. Losing Josh has altered my identity permanently, just like loving him did. And I will use that love to strengthen the lives of others…

In military terms, I’m known as a “Maverick,” meaning I began my career as enlisted and finished as an officer. Six years of my enlisted service were spent investigating major crimes committed by and against USAF personnel. During that time, I investigated many violet acts, including child physical and sexual abuse, rape, murder, and suicide. As a commissioned officer responsible for those in my command, my experience with suicide continued to grow. I was able to help save lives by recognizing signs and ensuring they received mental health assessments and the help they needed. In another instance, I was able to help the surviving family through determination of benefit eligibility. These experiences had an emotional impact, but did not prepare me for the loss of my son to suicide on July 28, 2018.

Joshua is the second born of my five children. He was and forever will be 20 years old, a Dean’s List college student ready to begin his junior year. Amidst the grief of losing my son, I searched for meaning in life. Through conversations with his friends and partner, I came to know my son on a much deeper level. I realized how many lives he’d touched in positive ways. And I wanted to do something to honor his memory and reflect the positive changes in me that are a result of this tragedy. My life’s mission became clear – to do all that is possible to prevent others from experiencing the grief associated with suicide. One month after our loss, the Joshua York Legacy Foundation was established to raise suicide awareness and prevention through education, outreach, and improving mental health accessibility for all AT-RISK populations, including (but not limited by) LGBTQ, students, and veterans. Every life lost to suicide is one too many.

I grew up in a household that we were always motivated to compete, in one way or another. From sports to getting good grades, our parents always pushed us to be the best that we could be. That led me to joining the Marines, where I had the pleasure of serving all over the US and abroad. From a videographer to a Marine Security Guard and then a Curriculum Developer, I had quite the experience while in the Marines and it was a time that molded me into the person I am today.

Back in November of 2016, I had the pleasure of meeting Josh York while I was out with some friends in the nation’s capital. That day would forever change my life and teach me what true love really was. Josh and I would constantly spend as much time as possible in each other’s presence just admiring each other and the drive that we seemed to motivate each other to. From trips up and down the east coast becoming his “sea husband” to the late nights sitting on the balcony and just chatting about life and all the aspirations we had for our futures together, we were a match made in heaven like what you read in fairy tales. He was my rock, my motivator to be the absolute best that even I didn’t know I could be, but he did. He gave me the motivation to buy my first property and furthermore register my business and finally make it a “real thing”.

You see, Josh was the most compassionate, motivated, and selfless person that I have ever known. Since losing him, I can’t say that life has been easy; it’s been quite the opposite. I’ve found myself fighting to push on and continue the path we had set for ourselves and a future of success, and all the while, in his name I will carry on a legacy to help others.

We will fight the fight. We will make a difference. It will be the name of my loving late partner, Joshua William York.

Hi, I’m Ann! I am California born and raised and you will usually find me in flip flops, somewhere near the water, with a Starbucks drink in my hand! I am a kindness enthusiast, outdoorsy girl, photographer, gamer girl, rock painter, artist and the list goes on! Being a mom has been one of the most challenging adventures in all the best ways! In 2016 the kids found a painted rock at the zoo and we were hooked! With a passion for Suicide Prevention and Mental Health Awareness, every painted rock is a ‘work of heart’. One rock at a time, we are changing the world while “Strengthening Lives with Love”.

Candace York spends her time with her amazing little one, while adamantly helping to keep up with all the ongoings of the Suicide Prevention Rocks Facebook Group. An active member of her community, there is no stale room when Candace walks in. Fun, outgoing, and witty – she keeps us all on our toes.

I am married, aged 38 and I have 2 children. I live in a village in Leicestershire, UK. I love rock painting and raising awareness of how painting stones and creativity helps your mental health. I battle mental health conditions myself, but this activity has been a safe way to express myself. I have a passion to break the stigma that seems to surround mental health and show others that people do understand and care. I am a firm believer that you are not alone and everyone deserves help. I have been suicidal in the past, and my disorder means I have suicidal ideation, but being part of Suicide Prevention Rocks means I don’t feel so alone and have a safe online community to express myself.